Heart of Berlin

Inspirations from Kerstin Hack

Category: Success (page 2 of 2)

Discovering Life – It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask

IMG_0137Was I alive today?

Yes!

It is simply wonderful to walk through autumn leaves and whirl them up with your feet.

What new thing did I learn about life?

It doesn’t hurt to ask. My theory: people almost always want to help when they have the ability and opportunity to support another person in making their life better. They just sometimes don’t know how they can help. And they don’t dare to ask.

In the last few days, I have asked a lot:

1. The cool online-shop Avocadostore for fair and pretty things: if they would like to promote our 2014 calendar during the holidays.

– The answer:  We’d love to. And they put it on their start page right away.

2. A friend: if he would lend me his welder for a couple of days until I can find my own that functions well (the monster that I have on-board doesn’t have a plug that’s compatible, and I have to consider whether I want to learn welding on a dinosaur-welder…no, don’t worry…at first, I am just watching… then perhaps I will practice carefully outside on the deck)…

– Answer: Yep.

3. A seller of hand-held welding equipment: if I can get a discount.

– Answer: Yes! 

4. A waste-water specialist (a contact of a friend): if he would help me plan the water disposal on the ship.

– Answer: Sure. I am a specialist for seeping water, but I would happily look at it, and if I don’t know what to do, I can recommend someone who does.

5. My dentist: If he can repair a broken mouthguard that I improvisationally patched with superglue.

– Answer: Bring the mouthguard over on Friday, and I will do it over the weekend.

6. A friend in Hamburg: if he could pick up and bring an affordable, used fireplace for my ship from Hamburg… so that it will be cozy.

– Answer: Of course.

7. A brilliant professor and architect for environmentally responsible building: if he and his students would like to help with the planning.

– Answer of his assistant: The tasks for this semester are already assigned – I sent your request to him anyway. (I also sent a request to my God about this and told Him I would find it really cool if there was a way that I could get support from the top professionals!)

8. A friend: if I could borrow her car for a transport.

– Answer: No, I’d prefer not. The car is brand new, and we haven’t paid it off yet.

Surprisingly another friend, who didn’t know anything about this, sent me a note: “I would love to help you more, but my time is very limited. It would be impossible for me to commit a half or whole day. But I could happily procure things for you or make drives, bring lunch by or things like that, or even pick up visitors…anything that I can squeeze in – one or two hours can always be found…” 

9. A shoe-maker: if he could make a hole in a belt that had become too large for me.

– Answer: ok 

I am surprised how much people enjoy helping. Surely it also plays a role in wanting to help that the ship will become a place on which other people will be helped. Still: it is a huge gift. And I am sooo thankful for all of the big and little helps.

What did I learn about myself?

It makes life so much more relaxed and nice that I can casually and openly ask today. I didn’t used to be able to. I sometimes expected that others already knew or suspected what I needed. Only: they usually didn’t. Or I worried that I would become a burden to them, and I thought too much about what they might think, what might burden them, what might stress them – without, of course, knowing whether it was true. For this reason, I didn’t dare to express my requests.

Today, I usually assume that people are adults and can make their own decisions. I try to express the background of my request clearly and comprehensibly, to make it understandable why I need help and why I am asking them. And then I allow the other person to decide whether they want to fulfill my request or not. And when they say “no” – like my friend with the car – it’s totally fine with me. They are making a decision for themselves, not against me. This unwinds.

Asking is nice. 

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/besser-leben/leben-entdecken-fragen-kostet-nichts/#sthash.O3dc7I5X.dpuf

Discovering Life – Giving Enriches

2013-10-19 20.27.36Was I alive today?

Yes!

Hard (De-rusting in a room that is 3.3 ft wide, 492 ft deep and 2.6 ft high is not enjoyable…) and easy work on-board in the shining sun. And it’s moving forward… a part of the insulation tiles that came from the previous owner and have been lying around in the way for the last 18 months are finally being used and are doing that which they should – they are insulating a wall.

And in the evening, a wonderful, inspiring concert by Christiane Döring – to leave your cares behind…. she has a great voice and has taken a lot out of the songs of Schumann, Schubert, and co… very nuanced, romantic, deep, and in some places, very humorous.

But the funniest moment without a doubt was afterwards. I reacted anxiously when I suddenly saw two police cars in front of the venue – exactly where I had parked my borrowed car… not exactly proper distance from the corner. “No reason to get flustered,” commented a friend of a friend who had previously said that nothing really upsets him, “They wouldn’t bring two police cars just for a wrongly-parked car.” He was right.

What did I discover about life?

One receives the most when he gives. In the middle of working, I recieved a text message from a friend who needed advice and support. I took the time for her – while I preserved battens… coating and thinking at the same time works. In the middle of the conversation, I heard myself say, “The situations that occupy us the most are the ones in which we don’t understand what’s going on. Our brain wants to categorize and understand things and when it can’t, it plows on and keeps working, because it wants to find an explanation!”

I said this to her and, at the same time, it became clear to me that this was also an answer for me. I am currently confronted with the behavior of a person that I just can’t sort, and my brain is working overtime in order to understand what is going on. But until now, it’s been a puzzle where some pieces are missing…

The solution? I waver between two options:

– Simply choose a working hypothesis (Person X is behaving this way because…) and come to peace with it.

– To decide for myself that it’s not solvable (who can really understand another person?)… and come to peace with it.

What did I learn about myself?

I won’t come up short. Whoever gives will always be rewarded in the end. A friend made the offer that her father, who is a professional electrician, would be able to help me with the electrical work on the ship. I do have to think through a lot of things that are new to me, and I need not only people who can lend a hand – of course, I am thankful for every hand that helps. But I have a huge lack of planning help. I need conversations with people who know things and can think through things with me. Someone who is experienced and patiently takes a couple of hours to explain things to me is a huge gift for me. That I specifically prayed for an electrician who could advise me and support me made it doubly nice.

This morning, I sat on the sofa and cried with emotion because I can’t hardly understand why I am so blessed. Suddenly, the thought came to me, “You have – with the projects that you’ve initiated and promoted – contributed to getting a roof over the heads of and clean drinking water for hundreds of people in Afghanistan… you helped them… now others are helping you to build your house/boat!”

I am double-rewarded: First, it made me happy to be able to help. It is simply nice to be able to give people a home. And second, I am rewarded through the gifts that come back to me in the form of help for me.

 

 

 

Benefits calendar, “Begegnung 2014,” for the benefit of women in Afghanistan.

 

 

 

 

 

Apropos Afghanistan: My publishing team and I have produced another benefits calendar for 2014. All proceeds will go towards an agricultural schooling program for women in Afghanistan that teaches them how they can feed themselves and their families. The calendars are available for purchase in our Shop. Only available in German.

Please buy several – the calendar makes a great Christmas present – and in addition, you will be doing something good for people who need support!

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/besser-leben/leben-entdecken-geben-bereichert/#sthash.fOm4AHsW.dpuf

Discovering Life – Hard and Soft

Was I alive today?

Yes!

– What new thing did I learn about life?

People always quarrel about strategies – seldom about goals. Yesterday, I saw the lovely film, The Butler, (worth watching!) that describes the life of a butler in the White House from the 1960s through today. Especially moving: He and his son both wanted to improve the living conditions for people of color. But they had very different ideas about how this should happen. The father wanted to wait; the son became politically active. Although they had the same goal, their strategies were different. This lead to conflict and estrangement.

Non-violent communication stresses the importance of making the need under the strategies transparent. Like here, the need for being respected and valued. When the need is deeply understood and accepted, cooperative strategies can sometimes be found to meet it. And sometimes not.

2013-09-27 16.37.52-1– What new thing did I learn about myself?

I need softness as balance for hardness….  The last couple of weeks were hard. Sick co-workers, hard work, hard misunderstandings, hard calculations, hard decisions, hard work on the taxes, hard, tight muscles. Even the materials on the ship are steel-hard and you can only work with them with hardness. Last night, I dreamt that someone told me that I need softness.

So, I have pronounced this week to be a soft week. I will wear soft clothes, observe autumn flowers and leaves, let the wind blow on my face and the sun warm it, work less hard when the sun is shining, listen to warm, cello music, take warm showers, drink coffee with soft milk foam and eat Schokoküsse (wonderful soft marshmallow coated in chocolate!)… and, as much as I can, be soft with myself – in thoughts and actions.

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/besser-leben/leben-entdecken-hart-und-zart/#sthash.nIQmk1Q8.dpuf

Discovering Life – Shaping Courageous People

2013-10-11 09.41.40Was I alive today?

Yes!

I especially enjoyed the mild autumn air and the bold-colored leaves on the trees. Simply wonderful.

– What new thing have I discovered about life?

I’m still in shock: muscle tissue turns into fat in less than three weeks. I caught a cold three weeks ago and haven’t been able to move around as much as I normally do in the last few weeks. It especially affected my lower back and bottom. It didn’t want to get better, and I was awake every night (how parents survive this when they have little children, I don’t understand) in pain, so the doctor cautiously ordered an MRI. All-clear. No problems with my spinal discs. Thank God! But the MRI showed something else appalling. In less than three weeks, my body had classified a whole bunch of tightly-wound muscle tissue as “inactive” and therefore “worthless” and broke it down from muscle (which is dark in an MRI) into (light) fat cells that use less energy. In only three weeks! I find this very intense!

– What new thing have I learned about myself?

I can rejoice in the happiness of others – especially when I have somehow contributed to it. Yesterday, I received a letter from a woman whom I first met through seminars and coaching and would now consider a friend. She wrote to me that she had gotten a boyfriend and was now engaged. This does happen. This morning, I remembered a coaching discussion we had a few years ago. It was about her future. She had to give up her absolute dream job because the employer was not able to continue her position.
First, we spoke about her dreams and her wish to shape young people, and then later discussed which possibilities were open to her at that time. Finally, she admitted, “I already have a position. As an administrator for a residence project for older people. I think it’s the right thing; I can gain administrative experience, and

Suggests careful years down will work www.geneticfairness.org summer and this reach afternoon:.

the people there really want me.” She continued to tell me all of the benefits of the new position. I became more and more uneasy. It seemed as though she wanted to convince herself and me that it was the right thing.

At some point, I gathered my courage and gave her honest feedback, “Your eyes are saying something different than your mouth. You say that it’s the right thing, but I don’t see any excitement.”
My feedback led to her admittance that she didn’t actually want the position but had just talked it up to herself. She declined the position and dared to become self-employed offering the support for young people that had always been her dream. It was not easy, but she succeeded. In the end, she moved to a place where she found suitable premises and – coaching happy end – also the man with whom she will share her life.
Of course this is a dream-like coaching story. It’s not always so dramatic, but I often experience that I can help people discover what they actually want – not what they should want. And when they dare to follow their dreams, I beam for joy.
And you – were you alive today?

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/coaching/leben-entdecken-mutig-menschen-praegen/#sthash.3oS4wVh1.dpuf

Discovering Life – Questions for God

IMG_0237 – Was I alive today? Yes! I had prayed that God would send me a senior that had time and skills and the desire to help me. God must have thought, “Well, if that’s all…” and He sent me a nice senior who has much building experience, likes boats, and has time. He has already helped me a few times and will continue on board. On Thursday evening he told me and another woman, who had also helped on board, while riding back together in a car (with seat-heating, which was wonderful for my stressed back) the story of how he met and fell in love with his second wife (he was a widower). It was simply wonderful to hear such a love story out of the mouth of a man. – What new thing did I learn about life? That people have very different questions for life and for God. After getting out of the car, the other woman said to me, “Sometimes I wonder why God gives some people a spouse twice and some like us not even once.” I was surprised. That question hadn’t come into my head at all. The next day, I was making a fruit salad. Again with hands that were oozing with mango juice. I am never successful with portioning mangos in a “civilized” way. I ask myself, “Why did God put such a delicious thing like mango in such an impractical package?” In short: The questions that people ask themselves and God are apparently very diverse. – What new thing did I learn about myself? Apparently, feeling jealous of happy couples is no longer an issue for me. For one, because I know that with most portions of happiness comes a good portion of work. But perhaps also because during a phase where I often struggled with jealousy when I saw happy couples, I learned how to bless them (like this unknown pair on the photo). Just say a short prayer for them that God will strengthen, preserve, and bless them and their relationship. Hopefully, this will be good for them – it’s certainly good for me. – See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/besser-leben/leben-entdecken-fragen-an-gott/#sthash.HoJSoxy7.dpuf

Discovering Life – God Can

2013-09-17-08.17.36– Was I alive today?

Yes!

– What new thing did I learn about life?

Two things are moving me right now. The first is that one harvests what one sews, even if it’s years later. This message came in a moving 3-Minute Video. There are prayers and “faith-investments” that I sewed more than 30 years ago, and of which I still wait excitedly for the harvest. In one areas, I “harvest” with a twinkle in my eye. A while ago, I published the inspirational booklet “Gebetsnotizen” (“Prayer Notes”) to encourage people to take note of their prayers and the ways in which God responds.

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve been moved by the story of the quails and manna. In this story, a leader is confronted with a challenge: a few hundred thousand people want meat. Even if they slaughtered all of the animals they had, it wouldn’t be enough. And soy burgers hadn’t yet been created. It was impossible for him. And then his God asked him, “Is anything impossible for me?” The answer is, logically, “No.” And then God seriously dished up – the Israelites had the BBQ of their lives. Mountains of meat. Nothing for vegans. But the others were happy.

This story moves me in relation to my boat. The beginning agreed-upon budget has now, through mistakes and unforseeables, been exceeded by one third. And another 50,000 Euros worth of costs are due by April 2014 – and then after that, I still have to repay the loans. I am doing what I can to offset the costs:

– I publish books

– I sell used things

– I coach people

– I give lectures

– I rent out my guestroom to vacationers

– I want to give blood

– I live economically

Impulsheft GebetsnotizenBut even with these efforts, obtaining the needed 50,000 Euros in 8 months is impossible – for me. But not for my God. Going back to the inspirational booklet Gebetsnotizen that I made a few years ago: I am currently using it myself for my prayers about the ship project. And while I was turning to a new page this week, I saw:

“Is anything impossible for God?”

I thought it was funny to be reminded through my own booklet of the assurances of God that are currently moving to me. I think God also smiled. Now I am excited to see when and how the quails will fly to me.

– What new thing have I learned about myself?

I am soooo alive when I coach. Today, I had a coaching appointment about cravings. To coach about this theme is essentially a really simple skill. One discovers where the customer has bound eating, or a specific food, with certain emotions, and then breaks the bond. Through this, “the spell is (more or less) broken” and it loses its power. It makes me happy every time to experience how things get unbound in people’s minds and new thoughts and feelings are now possible for them. It’s simply wonderful.

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/allgemein/leben-entdecken-gott-kann/#sthash.407hu1a1.dpuf

Discovering Life – and Making a New Friend

2013-09-11-19.00.50

– Was I alive today?
Yes! And how! The best moment of the day was when I successfully got all 12 balls into the faces of the Astrid Lindgren figures with my new friend, Lukas (3rd grade), and he asked me at the end, “Will you be here again tomorrow?” Heartwarming.

 

– What new thing have I discovered about life?
When a water pipe is clogged, it doesn”t necessarily mean there is grime in it. I was on board and was trying to unclog an overflow pipe from the roof and was poking around in it. And I was surprised when instead of grime, a huge spider came out. NO, I did NOT scream! But only just! Screaming is only useful when someone else is nearby who can hear it. It”s only half as fun alone.

– What new thing have I learned about myself?
It”s really difficult for me to go along when someone is whining and complaining. Today, the sandblaster told me how difficult it is to get the coating off of the floor of the main room. He said this in a whining undertone that automatically released in me these feelings:

– He”s not doing well.

– I am responsible.

– I have to do something so that he will be doing better.

My auto-program offered to pay him more (before the freecar racing car racing games mobile rest of me even had a chance to think about it), even though we had already agreed upon a price. Ouch. That wasn”t necessary. How someone feels is really their own problem. He could have said instead, “Gosh. This coating is being difficult. But I, the MacGyver of Sandblasters, will be the master of this project.” And he could have felt like a hero. I hope to get something from life for the expensive premium I paid… What I already know in theory – that I am not responsible for the feelings of others, but only for my own behavior – I hope I can internalize this even more!

 

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/erlebnisse/leben-entdecken-und-einen-neuen-freund-finden/#sthash.FJoLzFcm.dpuf

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