It is simply wonderful to walk through autumn leaves and whirl them up with your feet.
What new thing did I learn about life?
It doesn’t hurt to ask. My theory: people almost always want to help when they have the ability and opportunity to support another person in making their life better. They just sometimes don’t know how they can help. And they don’t dare to ask.
In the last few days, I have asked a lot:
1. The cool online-shop Avocadostore for fair and pretty things: if they would like to promote our 2014 calendar during the holidays.
– The answer: We’d love to. And they put it on their start page right away.
2. A friend: if he would lend me his welder for a couple of days until I can find my own that functions well (the monster that I have on-board doesn’t have a plug that’s compatible, and I have to consider whether I want to learn welding on a dinosaur-welder…no, don’t worry…at first, I am just watching… then perhaps I will practice carefully outside on the deck)…
– Answer: Yep.
3. A seller of hand-held welding equipment: if I can get a discount.
– Answer: Yes!
4. A waste-water specialist (a contact of a friend): if he would help me plan the water disposal on the ship.
– Answer: Sure. I am a specialist for seeping water, but I would happily look at it, and if I don’t know what to do, I can recommend someone who does.
5. My dentist: If he can repair a broken mouthguard that I improvisationally patched with superglue.
– Answer: Bring the mouthguard over on Friday, and I will do it over the weekend.
6. A friend in Hamburg: if he could pick up and bring an affordable, used fireplace for my ship from Hamburg… so that it will be cozy.
– Answer: Of course.
7. A brilliant professor and architect for environmentally responsible building: if he and his students would like to help with the planning.
– Answer of his assistant: The tasks for this semester are already assigned – I sent your request to him anyway. (I also sent a request to my God about this and told Him I would find it really cool if there was a way that I could get support from the top professionals!)
8. A friend: if I could borrow her car for a transport.
– Answer: No, I’d prefer not. The car is brand new, and we haven’t paid it off yet.
Surprisingly another friend, who didn’t know anything about this, sent me a note: “I would love to help you more, but my time is very limited. It would be impossible for me to commit a half or whole day. But I could happily procure things for you or make drives, bring lunch by or things like that, or even pick up visitors…anything that I can squeeze in – one or two hours can always be found…”
9. A shoe-maker: if he could make a hole in a belt that had become too large for me.
– Answer: ok
I am surprised how much people enjoy helping. Surely it also plays a role in wanting to help that the ship will become a place on which other people will be helped. Still: it is a huge gift. And I am sooo thankful for all of the big and little helps.
What did I learn about myself?
It makes life so much more relaxed and nice that I can casually and openly ask today. I didn’t used to be able to. I sometimes expected that others already knew or suspected what I needed. Only: they usually didn’t. Or I worried that I would become a burden to them, and I thought too much about what they might think, what might burden them, what might stress them – without, of course, knowing whether it was true. For this reason, I didn’t dare to express my requests.
Today, I usually assume that people are adults and can make their own decisions. I try to express the background of my request clearly and comprehensibly, to make it understandable why I need help and why I am asking them. And then I allow the other person to decide whether they want to fulfill my request or not. And when they say “no” – like my friend with the car – it’s totally fine with me. They are making a decision for themselves, not against me. This unwinds.
Asking is nice.
– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/besser-leben/leben-entdecken-fragen-kostet-nichts/#sthash.O3dc7I5X.dpuf