Heart of Berlin

Inspirations from Kerstin Hack

Category: House Boat Heart of Berlin (Page 3 of 5)

Discovering Life – God has Outdone Himself Again

22. December 2013 /

2013-12-21 17.59.59Was I alive today?

Yes! I am thankful that my biggest wish is being fulfilled and also that the first layer of insulation is up in the engine room before Christmas. Now, the cold (if it comes) isn’t a huge threat anymore.

What new thing did I learn about life?

It is amazing and full of surprises.

What new thing did I learn about myself?

I have a lot of fantasy and imagination. I think I’m creative in my solutions. Yet, sometimes God does things that surpass my wildest fantasies, and that means something.

His last coup: I had prayed for several months for a real electrician who could support me in the whole electric installation (about which I am clueless). This was one of the things that gave me the most stomachaches. When I have a stomachache about something, I pray and ask God for help.

His answer: He sent me an electrical engineer who is also a trained boat builder with a passion for ships. A few months ago, he found his way through gospel music that deeply moved him to the God about whom they were singing. My project is composed of many things that relate to him: his abilities and passions and his new journey with God. He is now helping me with the planning and will support me as much as he can within the limits of his possibilities (he is self-employed)… It doesn’t get better than that.

Icing on the cake: The only time that was possible for him to see my ship for the first time (he lives further away) was Saturday morning. The only time that worked for the man who is going to build the solar system for the ship was Saturday morning. So they came at the same time and planned things out so that everything works together. Some of it was Greek to me, and I had some things translated for me into layman’s terms, but it sounded really good.

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/erlebnisse/leben-entdecken-gott-hat-sich-mal-wieder-selbst-uebertroffen/#sthash.MVMauP5m.dpuf

Discovering Life – Side by Side

18. December 2013 /

2013-12-18 08.07.30Was I alive today?

Yes! Experiencing a sunrise on the ship was wonderful!

What new thing did I learn about life?

There are rarely “purely” wonderful or terrible times. Most of the time, life is a good mixture. Today, I was on the ship pretty early in order to welcome a helper… I am so thankful that Bernd (the third person I know who is named Bernd!) is helping me to remove over a hundred fishplates so that we can install insulation.

In addition, I am thankful that so many different people are currently helping me practically or supporting me with small or large contributions via bank transfers, Paypal, and Betterplace, which help me to purchase the necessary materials to finish the ship.

Last but not least, I am thankful that we have removed most of the fiberglass that proved itself unsuitable for insulating non-flat surfaces onboard. A piece of it is now insulating a hut in which a homeless man has found shelter. Another piece is helping a young man to save on his heating bill, because his landlord doesn’t want to insulate the attic, and he was heating all the way to the roof.

2013-12-18 09.39.36Only – as we saw the steel under the fiberglas, I was shocked. I had expected to find good anti-rust paint underneath, but what I found was approximately 18 square meters of steel covered in a light coating of rust. The world isn’t going under and neither is the ship (not yet!!!), but it is a new problem.

What new thing did I learn about myself?

I feel emotions faster and can accept them sooner than I used to. If such a situation had occurred in the past, I would have said, “We’re tackling this; let’s get rid of it!” This is the first thing I thought today as well. Then I noticed relatively quickly that I also had a few feelings that wanted to come out: disappointment, sadness, frustration. So, I swallowed a few little tears and then said, “Now, I’m tackling this…”

I experience this as more consistent, healthy, and authentic.

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/allgemein/leben-entdecken-nebeneinander/#sthash.ROeMWNkZ.dpuf

Discovering Life – Seeing Categories

10. December 2013 /

2013-12-08 11.15.55Was I alive today? Yes! Especially during a short walk in the rain. What new thing did I learn about life? It helps to sort into categories! A while ago, a friend sent me a puzzle postcard from her vacation. She knows that I love puzzles, but this one was really annoying. It was a picture of hundreds of seashells. There was so much detail and so many shells that it was impossible to see a big picture. It was all photographed from the same distance, without big differences or perspective. The assembly took a lot of energy. As I decided to give it another try, I thought about how many people live their lives like this: tons of puzzle pieces that won’t assemble into a big picture, because they can’t see any picture due to all of the confusing details. Often, the job of a coach is about helping sort and finding perspective and categories. First, a border is built and then, discovering step-by-step (sometimes with painstaking detail work) what fits together. 2013-12-08 11.31.14 It helps when we sort first. I did this today while coaching someone who is searching for clarity in his life. We sorted things into different areas of life and then further into various categories. In the end, we found a coherent big picture, even when some of the pieces needed for deeper happiness were still missing. But now, he can go searching for those and add them in. What new thing did I learn about myself? I can be just as joyful about small things as big things. Today, in the late morning, I suddenly felt the strong urge to take out the trash. This is not normal for me ;-). As I arrived, I discovered in the top of the recycling bin a sheet of insulation that is wonderfully suited for sealing provisional doors which leak cold air. I took it and rejoiced like a child. Even more so because I saw the garbage man coming; just a minute later would have been too late. I thought about the Bible verse “He knows His own…” – God knows them inside and out and knows how He can bring them – in this case, me – joy… a total gift! Later, I received a donation that I used for insulation so that my guests will be comfy and warm in the future… I rejoiced about the “small” gift just as much as the “big” one… both are signs that I am seen and supported – how wonderful! – See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/erlebnisse/leben-entdecken-ebenen-wahrnehmen/#sthash.5gGG2pm0.dpuf

Discovering Life – Shepherds and Sheep

8. December 2013 /

IMG_0183 Was I alive today?

Yes!

What new thing did I learn about life?

What new thing did I learn about myself?

I often begin the day by reading Losungen – selected inspiring Bible texts… Yesterday”s was:

“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me.” (John 10:14, New Living Translation)

This touched me deeply on two levels:

  • My Job = Trust: It was a reminder for me that trust is asked for. Sometimes things don”t go fast enough for me on the ship. I would prefer to be further. And it”s sometimes a real challenge for me to let go and to trust that God is already leading me. There is a saying, “Many people want to serve God, as an advisor!” I often belong to this group. I have 1000 ideas about what He could do faster and better. It”s sometimes really dificult for me to let go and to trust that HE is the shepherd and daily gives me what I need for that day. I have decided to practice this more intensively and to declare to God my trust that He has everything in view. And He means well.
  • His Job: To be the Shepherd – and to care for me in the way that I need. “I know my own sheep” left an impression on me. It really touched me to be reminded that He really knows me. A few days ago, I did a really good personality test. The results were not really surprising: I am a visionary, am bored to death by housework, and live in the future, in what should be. And I”m hard on myself – more than others – when things don”t go fast enough.

As I read the verse, I thought and prayed, “Ok. I want to trust You. For today. But hey, it also says that You know me. And if You know me, then You also know that I need encouragement. I need to see that things are (quickly) moving forward. You know that there is nothing that brings my heart more joy than when things are moving in the right direction.

God must have heard my prayer… things are moving forward. I am rejoicing about:

  • Two friends who helped me yesterday to put up insulation so that we could come forward faster
  • 2o 25 Euro donations for the ship project by Betterplace and Paypal… again two more hours of work further
  • Four friends from Portugal who wrote that they would like to come for 7 or 8 days to help on the ship and really make some progress
  • A friend who wrote that he would like to sponsor the trip of one of the Portuguese because 3 of the 4 are unemployed and don”t have any money
  • 30 Euros worth of selling used books on Amazon… not huge, but every little bit helps
  • Over 400 Euros worth of selling books from our publishing house at a church bazaar. Of course the proceeds go first to employee wages and production costs, but anything left over goes into the ship
  • A woman who called and asked if she could help… she is currently doing a practicum in Berlin but has plenty of free time and energy and was looking for a meaningful activity to engage in… a friend told her about me…

My heart rejoices… because things are moving forward… and because I sense that my God sees me…

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/allgemein/leben-entdecken-hirten-und-schafe/#sthash.etNrLSsu.dpuf

Discovering Life – Differences and Brotherly Blessing

29. November 2013 /

Was I alive today?Image029 Yes! What new thing did I learn about life? I was thinking again about what I have heard about the fundamental longings and fundamental fears of the four personality types according to the DISC assessment:

  • Dominance: Independence/To be forced
  • Inducement: Approval/To be short-changed
  • Steadiness: Security/To be left alone
  • Conscientiousness: Doing everything right/To be corrected

I find it interesting and insightful. What new thing did I learn about myself? Right now, the support and encouragement from others, both male and female, has been very helpful for me in regards to the ship project. I recently received two very encouraging emails from dear men I know. One wrote:

A ship is very heavy by itself, and it’s hard to believe that it can float and won’t sink. But the water carries it. Steady and through all the highs and lows, it shows enormous endurance and toughness. A ship must allow itself to fall into the water and to be carried. It can’t do anything about it. But you can also allow yourself to be carried by God and to continue step-by-step. I’m writing all of the exciting things along the way in a logbook for your ship, and you will experience the next few months like a journey with exciting adventures, times where it storms and fear rises, and times when the sun shines and you feel simply wonderful. You don’t know yet how long the journey will be. But every day is a discovery, even when nothing happens and you only have encounters on the ship or, LIKE NOW, you are on vacation on land and leave the ship alone. It’s waiting for you. Someday, instead of the negligible renovation trips, you will be having huge journeys of completion, seminars, and all kinds of beautiful things. But that will still be awhile. You are not alone, because you have some friends who are very close to you and are supporting your project. And the ship is on-site and floats and belongs to you (or the bank), but it’s also that way with most houses that people own. I really admire you. Your competence is growing tremendously in my eyes. The landlubber woman who is building a ship. This comes just after the man who dances with wolves.

I wrote to another man who is like a father to me, even though we are only in contact every few months, telling him that I had dreamt last night of an encounter with him. And I asked him to pray for me. He wrote back:

Your dream doesn’t surprise me. Over the last few weeks, the Spirit has encouraged me to pray for you again and again. You see: the “father’s blessing” has been given to you even before you sent the letter. It’s good that you’ve brought this ship project to Down-to-Earth. Even Noah had to build his boat without any special knowledge and relying on the guidance of the Spirit. It’s also good for you and for the future home of many. We’ll stick around!

Be protected, you chosen of God! In loving connection,
This touched me almost to tears… it’s good to know that a father is praying for me with blessing – even before I ask him to.

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/erlebnisse/leben-entdecken-bruederlicher-segen/#sthash.sOHd2DxH.dpuf

Discovering Life – Font Design

21. November 2013 /

Was I alive today?

Yes!

What new thing did I learn about life?

When you develop a new font, it’s recommended to start with the letters “n” and “o” because these letters have many elements that also exist in other letters. And what you have is what you have!

What new thing did I learn about myself?

Sometimes something new is the best way to relax. Today, I wanted to go relax in a cafe after working in the publishing company and on the ship. One of my favorite cafes was closed, so I tried a new one. I was disappointed, because they didn’t have any of the superficial periodicals that I enjoy browsing for relaxation. They only had intellectual, sophisticated periodicals about design, art, and culture. Not exactly what I desire after work. But then I did actually read an article about an Arabic font designer who has designed her own Arabic fonts as well as transcribing fonts like Helvetica and Frutiger into Arabic. I found this really interesting and refreshing.

And: I am glad to have received firewood for the ship as a gift… a friend helped me build a fireplace today and asked whether I needed wood. I hadn’t even asked for any… neither from God nor from people, because I still have a little bit of wood that needs to be used first. So I am extra excited about the unexpected gift!

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/erlebnisse/leben-entdecken-schriftdesign/#sthash.B8vZcMTo.dpuf

Discovering Life – Holes, Leaks, and Bonds

3. November 2013 /

Was I alive today? Yes! Wäschewaschen...der schwarze "Rand" ist die Wallschiene. Doing laundry… the black “rim” is the wall rail. What new thing did I learn about life? A leak is only a leak if it’s under water. Until now, I thought: a hole is something through which air comes in. A leak is something through which water comes in. As of today, I know that this definition isn’t entirely correct. A hole is only a leak if it’s under the water line. So I don’t currently have a leak – which is relieving. But I have a hole through which water comes in. Not in huge amounts, but trickling… The hole is on the bottom edge of the wall rail. A wall rail is a kind of buffer that runs around the ship. It stabilizes the ship and also has the advantage of providing a little clearance when mooring. The wall rail is hollow. This means that if there is a hole anywhere above, water can accumulate somewhere in the inside of the wall rail (usually at the deepest point) and then it will, sooner or later, rust through the wall. I am currently experiencing this in one place. Which means: find the hole, dry the wall rail as much as possible (= practically impossible), and weld the broken places. I hope that it’s not too bad… What new thing did I learn about myself? I enter into deep bonds with people – which can also touch me deeply. It’s a little like the holes on the ship: where it’s open, something can flow through. And I seem to have many openings to people. I don’t know why this is, but I can let people deep into my heart. Some people have told me that they only have capacity to feel very close to one or two people. I experience that it sometimes only takes a little connection for people to find a place in my heart. Sometimes just a coaching discussion in which a person is very open about themselves, such as I experienced yesterday, and plop, they’ve fallen into my heart… and the closeness and connection that I feel remains. This is often wonderful. And sometimes also painful. Like this week. Sunday, Bernd (who has helped me so much on the ship these past months) had a stroke. I am thankful that the operation went well, but it burdens me that he is not feeling well. His right side and his speech center in the brain need healing and rejuvenation – through a miracle for the things that the doctors can’t do. Then Monday, I received news that the grandson of a beloved friend passed away. We had prayed for months for the preemie whose lungs didn’t want to develop… and although I’d never seen him – he was in the hospital since birth – I had taken the little guy into my heart… I cried and still cry when I think about how his family has to live without him now. My heart has a leak (or hole) and it’s trickling through. Even though he’s surely exploring unimaginably beautiful worlds now, without pain, beeping machines, and such. the-father_s-love And then on Friday, I received the news that Esther Lanz passed away. Esther and her husband, Manfred, are authors at Down to Earth. Manfred, after decades as a performance-oriented and driven person, suddenly made the discovery: there is a Father in heaven that loves me. That loves me. That loves ME. That loves! Without demands or expectations. One that simply loves. Then together, they further discovered, explored, and enjoyed the love of the heavenly Father. And wrote about it. Their quadro “The Father’s Love” is one of the best sellers of our publishing company and has helped innumerable people to allow themselves experience more of God’s love. I cried when I heard that she had lost the fight against cancer. It’s just sad – for Manfred, the children, and all of the people to whom she was mother and encourager and companion. I would have liked to have had her here on Earth longer. I don’t understand. Bonds with people hurt – when the people experience pain, I sympathize… and I share their pain. This is one side. The other is that life flows through every bond… vibrant, wonderful, beautiful life! Like through the card that I received yesterday from a woman who I don’t even know in person but who is connected to me through this blog and my books and quadros. She wrote me a loving card and included some money I was to use for something that I would otherwise not allow right now… a piece of clothing, going out to eat, seeing a movie, or going to the theater. And she said that it was to remind me that God wants to tell me: I don’t just provide the most necessary things that you need for living or the ship but everything that you wish that is good for you. Another woman wrote to me: With 2 Kings 6:16: Don’t be afraid! For there are more on our side than on theirs! (Note: the quote comes from a text in which – during a siege – a wise man said this to another man who was scared to death.), I send you heart-felt blessed greetings for a good start in November. That was so great! Thank you! Life is rich – sometimes rich in pain – and often rich in treasures. – See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/besser-leben/leben-entdecken-loecher-lecks-und-verbindungen/#sthash.ABl6ksPv.dpuf

Discovering Life – Now More than Ever

29. October 2013 /

Image038Was I alive today?

Yes!

What new thing did I learn about life?

Nothing new, really: Life can sometimes be really strenuous and full of fighting. You win some, you lose some. Again, nothing new. And when you (seemingly) lose a fight, it”s painful. This month, I have really suffered and prayed with a friend whose grandson came into the world seriously ill. Today, he took his leave of life in this world. As I was walking earlier through the garden and praying for his parents and grandmother, I felt like God was saying to me, “The fight was not for nothing.” I don”t know what that means. And I”m not trying to comfort anyone with cheap words. However, this was what I felt.  I really believe that it”s never for nothing to do everything that is in our power to fight for life, even when it doesn”t bring the result that we”d hoped for… that they could share a long life with others here on the Earth.

What new thing did I learn about myself?

This phase right now is really stressful. There has been illness and failure in the team. Delays. Lower back pain that has increased again in the last few days. Worry about Bernd. 1000 decisions about the ship that are building up and that intertwine. Having all of the details in mind at once is definitely not my strength – so far. During the weekend, two people with this strength blessed me that it would also develop in me. As a person created in God”s image, I possess the ability, at least rudimentarily. And it could still develop.

Nevertheless: All these things stretch me to my limits. There are phases when I find everything to be terrible, and I suffer in silence. Or aloud. And then there are moments when a switch is flipped. This happened on Sunday evening. I saw difficulties and challenges without end. And instead of being sad about them and allowing myself to become discouraged, I thought to myself: now more than ever!

Now more than ever

  • – I want to tackle this
  • – I want to believe that God is with me
  • – I want to trust that there is a way
  • – I want to hope, believe, pray
  • – I want to keep going.

Now more than ever – not because it”s easy. That”s not it. But because it”s right. And it”s worth it. Even in the face of difficulties.

Now more than ever!

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/allgemein/leben-entdecken-jetzt-erst-recht/#sthash.sF26eEIb.dpuf

Discovering Life – Words, Tone, and Drops

26. October 2013 /

Was I alive today?

Yes!!! (Even when I was occasionally weary, exhausted, and dawdling).

What new thing did I learn about life?

Tone of voice gives the meaning. Today, as I rode my bicycle home from a lovely birthday party, I saw a young man on the side of the road sitting in a pile of leaves. Because people don’t do this regularly, I called, “Is everything ok?” He called back, “No,” but his voice sounded very clear and friendly. And I was going downhill and had momentum. I stopped at the next streetlight – and he came running after me (a third of a mile!!) and asked, “Did you mean that question seriously?” and I said, “Yes!” He asked why I didn’t stop. I explained it to him and then told him, “You can run very fast!” He said, “One has to, to keep up with you!” Then he asked where I was from and what I had planned for the rest of the day…

I found it exciting that I could intuitively sense that he was ok even though he yelled something else. Things can’t be too bad for a man who can run a few hundred yards after an (in my opinion) attractive woman on a bicycle. I was relieved that my assessment was apparently right; I trusted the tone more than the words.

And: Penguins have a highly effective heat exchange in their feet (people learn all kinds of things when they are occupied with domestic engineering and heating technology for ships).

What new thing did I learn about life?

2013-10-26 13.35.19I can get really happy about small things. And a little drop can have a huge impact – depending on where it falls. Today, I received a care package from a previous seminar participant (Thank you H.!) which contained really cool ear muffs, chocolate, tissues, and a nice hand lotion. In comparison to the huge bills of the last week (and those that are still coming), this is just a drop in the ocean. Hardly noticeable. Yet, at the same time, the drop has fallen in my thankfulness-barrel and brought it to overflowing. The gift and the esteem and care that it expresses made me happy and thankful for the entire day. A good drop really has value!

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/besser-leben/leben-entdecken-worte-toene-tropfen/#sthash.A0vjbaLq.dpuf

Discovering Life – It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask

22. October 2013 /

IMG_0137Was I alive today?

Yes!

It is simply wonderful to walk through autumn leaves and whirl them up with your feet.

What new thing did I learn about life?

It doesn’t hurt to ask. My theory: people almost always want to help when they have the ability and opportunity to support another person in making their life better. They just sometimes don’t know how they can help. And they don’t dare to ask.

In the last few days, I have asked a lot:

1. The cool online-shop Avocadostore for fair and pretty things: if they would like to promote our 2014 calendar during the holidays.

– The answer:  We’d love to. And they put it on their start page right away.

2. A friend: if he would lend me his welder for a couple of days until I can find my own that functions well (the monster that I have on-board doesn’t have a plug that’s compatible, and I have to consider whether I want to learn welding on a dinosaur-welder…no, don’t worry…at first, I am just watching… then perhaps I will practice carefully outside on the deck)…

– Answer: Yep.

3. A seller of hand-held welding equipment: if I can get a discount.

– Answer: Yes! 

4. A waste-water specialist (a contact of a friend): if he would help me plan the water disposal on the ship.

– Answer: Sure. I am a specialist for seeping water, but I would happily look at it, and if I don’t know what to do, I can recommend someone who does.

5. My dentist: If he can repair a broken mouthguard that I improvisationally patched with superglue.

– Answer: Bring the mouthguard over on Friday, and I will do it over the weekend.

6. A friend in Hamburg: if he could pick up and bring an affordable, used fireplace for my ship from Hamburg… so that it will be cozy.

– Answer: Of course.

7. A brilliant professor and architect for environmentally responsible building: if he and his students would like to help with the planning.

– Answer of his assistant: The tasks for this semester are already assigned – I sent your request to him anyway. (I also sent a request to my God about this and told Him I would find it really cool if there was a way that I could get support from the top professionals!)

8. A friend: if I could borrow her car for a transport.

– Answer: No, I’d prefer not. The car is brand new, and we haven’t paid it off yet.

Surprisingly another friend, who didn’t know anything about this, sent me a note: “I would love to help you more, but my time is very limited. It would be impossible for me to commit a half or whole day. But I could happily procure things for you or make drives, bring lunch by or things like that, or even pick up visitors…anything that I can squeeze in – one or two hours can always be found…” 

9. A shoe-maker: if he could make a hole in a belt that had become too large for me.

– Answer: ok 

I am surprised how much people enjoy helping. Surely it also plays a role in wanting to help that the ship will become a place on which other people will be helped. Still: it is a huge gift. And I am sooo thankful for all of the big and little helps.

What did I learn about myself?

It makes life so much more relaxed and nice that I can casually and openly ask today. I didn’t used to be able to. I sometimes expected that others already knew or suspected what I needed. Only: they usually didn’t. Or I worried that I would become a burden to them, and I thought too much about what they might think, what might burden them, what might stress them – without, of course, knowing whether it was true. For this reason, I didn’t dare to express my requests.

Today, I usually assume that people are adults and can make their own decisions. I try to express the background of my request clearly and comprehensibly, to make it understandable why I need help and why I am asking them. And then I allow the other person to decide whether they want to fulfill my request or not. And when they say “no” – like my friend with the car – it’s totally fine with me. They are making a decision for themselves, not against me. This unwinds.

Asking is nice. 

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/besser-leben/leben-entdecken-fragen-kostet-nichts/#sthash.O3dc7I5X.dpuf

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Balanced life, Forgivenes, Restoring Trust.

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Foto Kerstin Hack
Name: Kerstin Hack
City: Berlin, Germany
My Job: Author, Coach and Publisher. My aim is to inspire people to live life well, enrich others and fully enjoy god and life.
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