Inspirations from Kerstin Hack

Category: Feelings (Page 2 of 4)

Discovering Life – Ants and Kings

IMG_0220Was I alive today?

Yes!

What new thing did I learn about life?

From a report via a television program on the topic the beauty of women: Lebanese women are considered the most beautiful women of the Near East because of their facial features and figures – my German-Lebanese friend told me about it. They spend tremendous amounts of time and energy on creating and maintaining their beauty and go, when they can afford it, to the salon around three times per week. In a society where the ratio of women to men is 3:1 (many young men work abroad), enormously high competition reigns. 90% of all women choose to have their children via cesarean section, because they see it as safer and less beauty-threatening than natural birth. Right now, the young women who are educated are finding themselves in conflict regarding whether they want to continue to “play the game,” but they often don’t have a choice.

What new thing did I learn about myself?

Sometimes it bothers me when I compare myself to how things should be done – and I find it wonderful when God then says to me, “You are good enough.” There are people who can plan things to the smallest detail – I am not one of them. I can only approach things in stages and layers.

Once in a while, people criticize me for the way I am approaching things with the ship, “Kerstin, you should first contract with engineering consultants to draw up a complete plan before you proceed.” “You should contract with a ship-builder…” etc.

My good friend, with whom I am currently enjoying a few restful days, prayed this morning and asked God what He would like to say to me. She felt like she should read Proverbs 6. Among other things, she read, “The ants are self-organized, have no king, yet still fill their barns!”

She felt like God wanted to say to me, “Kerstin, there are work teams that don’t have a king to tell them what to do. With your ship project, you have teams that more or less organize themselves. And that is OK! That’s also a possibility. And you will reach your goal and ‘fill your barn.'”

That really encouraged me. I don’t need to be anything other than myself… I am allowed to be how I am… and my God deals and works with me in my fashion. How incredibly comforting!

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/erfolg/leben-entdecken-ameisen-und-koenige/#sthash.qe0ztKJQ.dpuf

Discovering Life – Side by Side

2013-12-18 08.07.30Was I alive today?

Yes! Experiencing a sunrise on the ship was wonderful!

What new thing did I learn about life?

There are rarely “purely” wonderful or terrible times. Most of the time, life is a good mixture. Today, I was on the ship pretty early in order to welcome a helper… I am so thankful that Bernd (the third person I know who is named Bernd!) is helping me to remove over a hundred fishplates so that we can install insulation.

In addition, I am thankful that so many different people are currently helping me practically or supporting me with small or large contributions via bank transfers, Paypal, and Betterplace, which help me to purchase the necessary materials to finish the ship.

Last but not least, I am thankful that we have removed most of the fiberglass that proved itself unsuitable for insulating non-flat surfaces onboard. A piece of it is now insulating a hut in which a homeless man has found shelter. Another piece is helping a young man to save on his heating bill, because his landlord doesn’t want to insulate the attic, and he was heating all the way to the roof.

2013-12-18 09.39.36Only – as we saw the steel under the fiberglas, I was shocked. I had expected to find good anti-rust paint underneath, but what I found was approximately 18 square meters of steel covered in a light coating of rust. The world isn’t going under and neither is the ship (not yet!!!), but it is a new problem.

What new thing did I learn about myself?

I feel emotions faster and can accept them sooner than I used to. If such a situation had occurred in the past, I would have said, “We’re tackling this; let’s get rid of it!” This is the first thing I thought today as well. Then I noticed relatively quickly that I also had a few feelings that wanted to come out: disappointment, sadness, frustration. So, I swallowed a few little tears and then said, “Now, I’m tackling this…”

I experience this as more consistent, healthy, and authentic.

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/allgemein/leben-entdecken-nebeneinander/#sthash.ROeMWNkZ.dpuf

Discovering Life – Seeing Categories

2013-12-08 11.15.55Was I alive today? Yes! Especially during a short walk in the rain. What new thing did I learn about life? It helps to sort into categories! A while ago, a friend sent me a puzzle postcard from her vacation. She knows that I love puzzles, but this one was really annoying. It was a picture of hundreds of seashells. There was so much detail and so many shells that it was impossible to see a big picture. It was all photographed from the same distance, without big differences or perspective. The assembly took a lot of energy. As I decided to give it another try, I thought about how many people live their lives like this: tons of puzzle pieces that won’t assemble into a big picture, because they can’t see any picture due to all of the confusing details. Often, the job of a coach is about helping sort and finding perspective and categories. First, a border is built and then, discovering step-by-step (sometimes with painstaking detail work) what fits together. 2013-12-08 11.31.14 It helps when we sort first. I did this today while coaching someone who is searching for clarity in his life. We sorted things into different areas of life and then further into various categories. In the end, we found a coherent big picture, even when some of the pieces needed for deeper happiness were still missing. But now, he can go searching for those and add them in. What new thing did I learn about myself? I can be just as joyful about small things as big things. Today, in the late morning, I suddenly felt the strong urge to take out the trash. This is not normal for me ;-). As I arrived, I discovered in the top of the recycling bin a sheet of insulation that is wonderfully suited for sealing provisional doors which leak cold air. I took it and rejoiced like a child. Even more so because I saw the garbage man coming; just a minute later would have been too late. I thought about the Bible verse “He knows His own…” – God knows them inside and out and knows how He can bring them – in this case, me – joy… a total gift! Later, I received a donation that I used for insulation so that my guests will be comfy and warm in the future… I rejoiced about the “small” gift just as much as the “big” one… both are signs that I am seen and supported – how wonderful! – See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/erlebnisse/leben-entdecken-ebenen-wahrnehmen/#sthash.5gGG2pm0.dpuf

Discovering Life – Shepherds and Sheep

IMG_0183 Was I alive today?

Yes!

What new thing did I learn about life?

What new thing did I learn about myself?

I often begin the day by reading Losungen – selected inspiring Bible texts… Yesterday”s was:

“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me.” (John 10:14, New Living Translation)

This touched me deeply on two levels:

  • My Job = Trust: It was a reminder for me that trust is asked for. Sometimes things don”t go fast enough for me on the ship. I would prefer to be further. And it”s sometimes a real challenge for me to let go and to trust that God is already leading me. There is a saying, “Many people want to serve God, as an advisor!” I often belong to this group. I have 1000 ideas about what He could do faster and better. It”s sometimes really dificult for me to let go and to trust that HE is the shepherd and daily gives me what I need for that day. I have decided to practice this more intensively and to declare to God my trust that He has everything in view. And He means well.
  • His Job: To be the Shepherd – and to care for me in the way that I need. “I know my own sheep” left an impression on me. It really touched me to be reminded that He really knows me. A few days ago, I did a really good personality test. The results were not really surprising: I am a visionary, am bored to death by housework, and live in the future, in what should be. And I”m hard on myself – more than others – when things don”t go fast enough.

As I read the verse, I thought and prayed, “Ok. I want to trust You. For today. But hey, it also says that You know me. And if You know me, then You also know that I need encouragement. I need to see that things are (quickly) moving forward. You know that there is nothing that brings my heart more joy than when things are moving in the right direction.

God must have heard my prayer… things are moving forward. I am rejoicing about:

  • Two friends who helped me yesterday to put up insulation so that we could come forward faster
  • 2o 25 Euro donations for the ship project by Betterplace and Paypal… again two more hours of work further
  • Four friends from Portugal who wrote that they would like to come for 7 or 8 days to help on the ship and really make some progress
  • A friend who wrote that he would like to sponsor the trip of one of the Portuguese because 3 of the 4 are unemployed and don”t have any money
  • 30 Euros worth of selling used books on Amazon… not huge, but every little bit helps
  • Over 400 Euros worth of selling books from our publishing house at a church bazaar. Of course the proceeds go first to employee wages and production costs, but anything left over goes into the ship
  • A woman who called and asked if she could help… she is currently doing a practicum in Berlin but has plenty of free time and energy and was looking for a meaningful activity to engage in… a friend told her about me…

My heart rejoices… because things are moving forward… and because I sense that my God sees me…

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/allgemein/leben-entdecken-hirten-und-schafe/#sthash.etNrLSsu.dpuf

Discovering Life – Soothing Oils and Some Stress

Was I alive today? Yes! What new thing did I learn about life? I recently held a training for the employees of a wonderful wellness-hotel. They really want to serve their guests holistically: body (relaxation, high-quality attention), soul (pampering), and mind (coaching, companionship), and they are continually training their employees for this. On the one hand, I think about the developments, on the other hand, I train in the coaching field… During the seminar breaks, the participating therapists shared some of their knowledge of healing oils with me. Now I have a wish-list of oils (with their effects in parentheses) that I would like to gradually aquire: – Peppermint (fights headache, helps with staying awake, soothing even for sciatica) – Lavender (healing for skin) – Citrus (supports thinking) – Basil (lightens the mood) – Orange (ideal as a solvent, for example when a ship-builder has paint on her hands…) – Wintergreen (40 x more soothing than aspirin! relieves tension) (I already have this one!) – Immortelle (helpful against bruises, which happens when working on a ship) – Turmeric (against inflammation, improves thinking (can be dripped into food)) – Argan (a dream for the skin) An overview of some essential oils and their effects can be found here. On the way back from the training, I slipped on an escalator and had a bad fall – with luggage in my hands so I couldn’t catch myself. Luckily, I had gotten myself a small bottle of wintergreen oil. I immediately applied some to the throbbing bones. The pain went away surprisingly fast. IMG_0129What new thing did I learn about myself? It stresses me when I have to simultaneously fulfill different expectations. I need time to sort and feel. When I don’t have the time to consider which expectations I would like to fulfill, I feel stressed. – See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/erlebnisse/leben-entdecken-schmerzlindernde-oele/#sthash.txXZy82b.dpuf

Discovering Life – Font Design

Was I alive today?

Yes!

What new thing did I learn about life?

When you develop a new font, it’s recommended to start with the letters “n” and “o” because these letters have many elements that also exist in other letters. And what you have is what you have!

What new thing did I learn about myself?

Sometimes something new is the best way to relax. Today, I wanted to go relax in a cafe after working in the publishing company and on the ship. One of my favorite cafes was closed, so I tried a new one. I was disappointed, because they didn’t have any of the superficial periodicals that I enjoy browsing for relaxation. They only had intellectual, sophisticated periodicals about design, art, and culture. Not exactly what I desire after work. But then I did actually read an article about an Arabic font designer who has designed her own Arabic fonts as well as transcribing fonts like Helvetica and Frutiger into Arabic. I found this really interesting and refreshing.

And: I am glad to have received firewood for the ship as a gift… a friend helped me build a fireplace today and asked whether I needed wood. I hadn’t even asked for any… neither from God nor from people, because I still have a little bit of wood that needs to be used first. So I am extra excited about the unexpected gift!

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/erlebnisse/leben-entdecken-schriftdesign/#sthash.B8vZcMTo.dpuf

Discovering Life – Holes, Leaks, and Bonds

Was I alive today? Yes! Wäschewaschen...der schwarze "Rand" ist die Wallschiene. Doing laundry… the black “rim” is the wall rail. What new thing did I learn about life? A leak is only a leak if it’s under water. Until now, I thought: a hole is something through which air comes in. A leak is something through which water comes in. As of today, I know that this definition isn’t entirely correct. A hole is only a leak if it’s under the water line. So I don’t currently have a leak – which is relieving. But I have a hole through which water comes in. Not in huge amounts, but trickling… The hole is on the bottom edge of the wall rail. A wall rail is a kind of buffer that runs around the ship. It stabilizes the ship and also has the advantage of providing a little clearance when mooring. The wall rail is hollow. This means that if there is a hole anywhere above, water can accumulate somewhere in the inside of the wall rail (usually at the deepest point) and then it will, sooner or later, rust through the wall. I am currently experiencing this in one place. Which means: find the hole, dry the wall rail as much as possible (= practically impossible), and weld the broken places. I hope that it’s not too bad… What new thing did I learn about myself? I enter into deep bonds with people – which can also touch me deeply. It’s a little like the holes on the ship: where it’s open, something can flow through. And I seem to have many openings to people. I don’t know why this is, but I can let people deep into my heart. Some people have told me that they only have capacity to feel very close to one or two people. I experience that it sometimes only takes a little connection for people to find a place in my heart. Sometimes just a coaching discussion in which a person is very open about themselves, such as I experienced yesterday, and plop, they’ve fallen into my heart… and the closeness and connection that I feel remains. This is often wonderful. And sometimes also painful. Like this week. Sunday, Bernd (who has helped me so much on the ship these past months) had a stroke. I am thankful that the operation went well, but it burdens me that he is not feeling well. His right side and his speech center in the brain need healing and rejuvenation – through a miracle for the things that the doctors can’t do. Then Monday, I received news that the grandson of a beloved friend passed away. We had prayed for months for the preemie whose lungs didn’t want to develop… and although I’d never seen him – he was in the hospital since birth – I had taken the little guy into my heart… I cried and still cry when I think about how his family has to live without him now. My heart has a leak (or hole) and it’s trickling through. Even though he’s surely exploring unimaginably beautiful worlds now, without pain, beeping machines, and such. the-father_s-love And then on Friday, I received the news that Esther Lanz passed away. Esther and her husband, Manfred, are authors at Down to Earth. Manfred, after decades as a performance-oriented and driven person, suddenly made the discovery: there is a Father in heaven that loves me. That loves me. That loves ME. That loves! Without demands or expectations. One that simply loves. Then together, they further discovered, explored, and enjoyed the love of the heavenly Father. And wrote about it. Their quadro “The Father’s Love” is one of the best sellers of our publishing company and has helped innumerable people to allow themselves experience more of God’s love. I cried when I heard that she had lost the fight against cancer. It’s just sad – for Manfred, the children, and all of the people to whom she was mother and encourager and companion. I would have liked to have had her here on Earth longer. I don’t understand. Bonds with people hurt – when the people experience pain, I sympathize… and I share their pain. This is one side. The other is that life flows through every bond… vibrant, wonderful, beautiful life! Like through the card that I received yesterday from a woman who I don’t even know in person but who is connected to me through this blog and my books and quadros. She wrote me a loving card and included some money I was to use for something that I would otherwise not allow right now… a piece of clothing, going out to eat, seeing a movie, or going to the theater. And she said that it was to remind me that God wants to tell me: I don’t just provide the most necessary things that you need for living or the ship but everything that you wish that is good for you. Another woman wrote to me: With 2 Kings 6:16: Don’t be afraid! For there are more on our side than on theirs! (Note: the quote comes from a text in which – during a siege – a wise man said this to another man who was scared to death.), I send you heart-felt blessed greetings for a good start in November. That was so great! Thank you! Life is rich – sometimes rich in pain – and often rich in treasures. – See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/besser-leben/leben-entdecken-loecher-lecks-und-verbindungen/#sthash.ABl6ksPv.dpuf

Discovering Life – Now More than Ever

Image038Was I alive today?

Yes!

What new thing did I learn about life?

Nothing new, really: Life can sometimes be really strenuous and full of fighting. You win some, you lose some. Again, nothing new. And when you (seemingly) lose a fight, it”s painful. This month, I have really suffered and prayed with a friend whose grandson came into the world seriously ill. Today, he took his leave of life in this world. As I was walking earlier through the garden and praying for his parents and grandmother, I felt like God was saying to me, “The fight was not for nothing.” I don”t know what that means. And I”m not trying to comfort anyone with cheap words. However, this was what I felt.  I really believe that it”s never for nothing to do everything that is in our power to fight for life, even when it doesn”t bring the result that we”d hoped for… that they could share a long life with others here on the Earth.

What new thing did I learn about myself?

This phase right now is really stressful. There has been illness and failure in the team. Delays. Lower back pain that has increased again in the last few days. Worry about Bernd. 1000 decisions about the ship that are building up and that intertwine. Having all of the details in mind at once is definitely not my strength – so far. During the weekend, two people with this strength blessed me that it would also develop in me. As a person created in God”s image, I possess the ability, at least rudimentarily. And it could still develop.

Nevertheless: All these things stretch me to my limits. There are phases when I find everything to be terrible, and I suffer in silence. Or aloud. And then there are moments when a switch is flipped. This happened on Sunday evening. I saw difficulties and challenges without end. And instead of being sad about them and allowing myself to become discouraged, I thought to myself: now more than ever!

Now more than ever

  • – I want to tackle this
  • – I want to believe that God is with me
  • – I want to trust that there is a way
  • – I want to hope, believe, pray
  • – I want to keep going.

Now more than ever – not because it”s easy. That”s not it. But because it”s right. And it”s worth it. Even in the face of difficulties.

Now more than ever!

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/allgemein/leben-entdecken-jetzt-erst-recht/#sthash.sF26eEIb.dpuf

Discovering Life – Giving Enriches

2013-10-19 20.27.36Was I alive today?

Yes!

Hard (De-rusting in a room that is 3.3 ft wide, 492 ft deep and 2.6 ft high is not enjoyable…) and easy work on-board in the shining sun. And it’s moving forward… a part of the insulation tiles that came from the previous owner and have been lying around in the way for the last 18 months are finally being used and are doing that which they should – they are insulating a wall.

And in the evening, a wonderful, inspiring concert by Christiane Döring – to leave your cares behind…. she has a great voice and has taken a lot out of the songs of Schumann, Schubert, and co… very nuanced, romantic, deep, and in some places, very humorous.

But the funniest moment without a doubt was afterwards. I reacted anxiously when I suddenly saw two police cars in front of the venue – exactly where I had parked my borrowed car… not exactly proper distance from the corner. “No reason to get flustered,” commented a friend of a friend who had previously said that nothing really upsets him, “They wouldn’t bring two police cars just for a wrongly-parked car.” He was right.

What did I discover about life?

One receives the most when he gives. In the middle of working, I recieved a text message from a friend who needed advice and support. I took the time for her – while I preserved battens… coating and thinking at the same time works. In the middle of the conversation, I heard myself say, “The situations that occupy us the most are the ones in which we don’t understand what’s going on. Our brain wants to categorize and understand things and when it can’t, it plows on and keeps working, because it wants to find an explanation!”

I said this to her and, at the same time, it became clear to me that this was also an answer for me. I am currently confronted with the behavior of a person that I just can’t sort, and my brain is working overtime in order to understand what is going on. But until now, it’s been a puzzle where some pieces are missing…

The solution? I waver between two options:

– Simply choose a working hypothesis (Person X is behaving this way because…) and come to peace with it.

– To decide for myself that it’s not solvable (who can really understand another person?)… and come to peace with it.

What did I learn about myself?

I won’t come up short. Whoever gives will always be rewarded in the end. A friend made the offer that her father, who is a professional electrician, would be able to help me with the electrical work on the ship. I do have to think through a lot of things that are new to me, and I need not only people who can lend a hand – of course, I am thankful for every hand that helps. But I have a huge lack of planning help. I need conversations with people who know things and can think through things with me. Someone who is experienced and patiently takes a couple of hours to explain things to me is a huge gift for me. That I specifically prayed for an electrician who could advise me and support me made it doubly nice.

This morning, I sat on the sofa and cried with emotion because I can’t hardly understand why I am so blessed. Suddenly, the thought came to me, “You have – with the projects that you’ve initiated and promoted – contributed to getting a roof over the heads of and clean drinking water for hundreds of people in Afghanistan… you helped them… now others are helping you to build your house/boat!”

I am double-rewarded: First, it made me happy to be able to help. It is simply nice to be able to give people a home. And second, I am rewarded through the gifts that come back to me in the form of help for me.

 

 

 

Benefits calendar, “Begegnung 2014,” for the benefit of women in Afghanistan.

 

 

 

 

 

Apropos Afghanistan: My publishing team and I have produced another benefits calendar for 2014. All proceeds will go towards an agricultural schooling program for women in Afghanistan that teaches them how they can feed themselves and their families. The calendars are available for purchase in our Shop. Only available in German.

Please buy several – the calendar makes a great Christmas present – and in addition, you will be doing something good for people who need support!

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/besser-leben/leben-entdecken-geben-bereichert/#sthash.fOm4AHsW.dpuf

Discovering Life – Hard and Soft

Was I alive today?

Yes!

– What new thing did I learn about life?

People always quarrel about strategies – seldom about goals. Yesterday, I saw the lovely film, The Butler, (worth watching!) that describes the life of a butler in the White House from the 1960s through today. Especially moving: He and his son both wanted to improve the living conditions for people of color. But they had very different ideas about how this should happen. The father wanted to wait; the son became politically active. Although they had the same goal, their strategies were different. This lead to conflict and estrangement.

Non-violent communication stresses the importance of making the need under the strategies transparent. Like here, the need for being respected and valued. When the need is deeply understood and accepted, cooperative strategies can sometimes be found to meet it. And sometimes not.

2013-09-27 16.37.52-1– What new thing did I learn about myself?

I need softness as balance for hardness….  The last couple of weeks were hard. Sick co-workers, hard work, hard misunderstandings, hard calculations, hard decisions, hard work on the taxes, hard, tight muscles. Even the materials on the ship are steel-hard and you can only work with them with hardness. Last night, I dreamt that someone told me that I need softness.

So, I have pronounced this week to be a soft week. I will wear soft clothes, observe autumn flowers and leaves, let the wind blow on my face and the sun warm it, work less hard when the sun is shining, listen to warm, cello music, take warm showers, drink coffee with soft milk foam and eat Schokoküsse (wonderful soft marshmallow coated in chocolate!)… and, as much as I can, be soft with myself – in thoughts and actions.

– See more at: http://kerstinpur.de/besser-leben/leben-entdecken-hart-und-zart/#sthash.nIQmk1Q8.dpuf

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